tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post5962017279636640455..comments2023-09-21T06:15:03.099-07:00Comments on Conjugate Visits: Commas, Commas EverywhereJune Casagrandehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00363096837053080969noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-13565617613692012542010-04-17T17:37:53.747-07:002010-04-17T17:37:53.747-07:00Breaking it up into two sentences would definitely...Breaking it up into two sentences would definitely be a smart way to go.June Casagrandehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00363096837053080969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-33866923515564857092010-04-17T16:25:20.795-07:002010-04-17T16:25:20.795-07:00I'd toss "this week" from the lead. ...I'd toss "this week" from the lead. <br /><br />You also could break it up into two sentences: "Food Rules" guru Michael Pollan and others argue that corn contributes to obesity and related health problems. Their acolytes welcomed a new study....Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08827013078138605301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-81504392866581628572010-03-26T14:41:46.343-07:002010-03-26T14:41:46.343-07:00: ): )June Casagrandehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00363096837053080969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-6237687257251686182010-03-26T13:41:16.386-07:002010-03-26T13:41:16.386-07:00June, please don't anthropomorphize sentences....June, please don't anthropomorphize sentences. They hate that.Linneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01045296325737241200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-15977655048016030772010-03-26T08:56:52.910-07:002010-03-26T08:56:52.910-07:00Ah. I didn't think of that.
Either way, it go...Ah. I didn't think of that.<br /><br />Either way, it goes to prove this sentence is trying to bite off more than it can chew.June Casagrandehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00363096837053080969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-90422309190079706562010-03-26T04:02:35.896-07:002010-03-26T04:02:35.896-07:00Another possibility is that newsspeak "this w...Another possibility is that newsspeak "this week". Take the comma out and it looks like it was this week that they made corn a scapegoat.Faldonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12873736640907864834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-38929762835035131382010-03-25T14:11:56.949-07:002010-03-25T14:11:56.949-07:00Overuse dashes? Is that possible? I've been op...Overuse dashes? Is that possible? I've been operating for years on the premise that it's not.<br /><br />I think that maybe the whole "who've" clause was originally meant to be nonrestrictive, set off with commas on either side. Then someone sort of rethunk it, took out a comma, but didn't rethunk it all the way through.<br /><br />Also: I was a little shocked at the writer's saying that Pollan followers have "made corn a scapegoat for the nation's health crises." That seems to way too editorial to belong in this piece. Whenever you say that one group has made something a scapegoat, you're basically saying that they're wrong. (The definition of scapegoat, after all, is "One that is made to bear the blame of others.")<br /><br /><br />Also, I'd argue that the writer's assessment is incorrect. Pollan's view of modern corn production certainly does not make it a scapegoat for "the nation's health crises" or even most of the health problems. He does argue that corn plays a role in the obesity crisis, but that's just part of the problem. But now I'm the one editorializing. <br /><br />Anyway, I suspect it was just poor word choice and nothing more.June Casagrandehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00363096837053080969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8507136945842934293.post-59539959644991087862010-03-25T14:00:51.077-07:002010-03-25T14:00:51.077-07:00Maybe the sentence seemed so long and under-punctu...Maybe the sentence seemed so long and under-punctuated they thought they'd throw a comma randomly into the middle of it, yaknow, just to break things up. More seriously, it feels like "and other well-meaning foodies who've made corn a scapegoat for the nation's health crises" should be somehow parenthetical, so they made a half-assed (think of the lone comma as a single cheek) attempt at it. I can even imagine a process in which there had been a partner comma before the "and" but then someone realized that that wasn't quite right; unfortunately the trailing comma was left behind as a relic. Which is to say it's the sort of thing (maybe not precisely the thing, but within a general class of things) I might do. More likely I'd have set the whole thing off with dashes because I tend to overuse dashes.Joelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05550742712966484303noreply@blogger.com