Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Copy Edit du Jour (or at least du matin)


Like the presidential election, change is a popular theme at Widgets Inc. this year.

Changed to:

As in the presidential election, change is a popular theme at Widgets Inc. this year.

The reason: The first sentence parallels "change" with "the presidential election" -- suggesting that change is like the election. That's clearly not what the writer meant.

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4 comments:

Joel said...

That's funny. I read the first sentence several times thinking it couldn't have been clearer. Of course, it clearly said what it didn't mean to say. I think part of my confusion was that I identified ABC Company with ABC, the broadcast company, whereat, as at many broadcast companies, the presidential election is certainly a popular theme.

June Casagrande said...

Ah, thank you! I'll change that right now. Let's see ... how about something with widgets?

David said...

You might want to change the "them" in the corrected version to "theme", too.

June Casagrande said...

D'oh!

Fixing that now ...

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