Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Copy Edits* du Jour

The new Yugo has an integrated powertrain, consequently offering tight handling.

Changed to: powertrain, offering tight handling.

Its adaptable headlamps reduce glare, thus improving safety.

Changed to … glare, improving safety.

Thus, as of today, I consequently declare that “thus” and “consequently” have no freakin’ business in a news or feature article. Sure, they're useful elsewhere. But newspaper writing requires simplicity and efficiency and has no space for words that add nothing. So from here out, I’m instituting what I call a Gandalf policy for these two words in any copy I edit, summed up as "You shall not pass."

*As always, I disgused the passages so's I don't get my little old self into trouble.

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Linnee said...

I know someone who uses "thus," "consequently," "nevertheless," and "therefore" in conversation. Makes my ears bleed.

June Casagrande said...

Whoa. I can't even imagine what kind of person would do that. I'm picturing a monocle and spats -- or maybe just an ascot and lots of tweed.


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