Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Copy Edit du Jour

The road leads you through flourishing rainforests, flowing waterfalls,
plunging pools and dramatic seascapes.

Changed to:
The road leads you through flourishing rainforests AND PAST flowing
waterfalls, plunging pools and dramatic seascapes.

Any road that leads you through pools isn't much of a road. (I'm still thinking on "flourishing" and "plunging." I'm not too keen on those, either.)

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5 comments:

Ya Chun said...

verdant

and

plunge-worthy

June Casagrande said...

I'm definitely taking your "verdant" suggestion. I like how "verdant" conveys a certain feel without calling too much attention to itself. (Some might say it's getting overused, but I think that's part of what makes it good here. Its intended vibe is already well-known.)

"Plunge-worthy" is great, too, but it contains information that, as a copy editor, I don't feel I'm at at liberty to insert. I wish the writer would have thought of it, though.

8'FED said...

I've never heard of the word "verdant", so I don't see how it can be overused...

June Casagrande said...

It comes up a lot in travel writing, which I edit. It's actually a pretty useful alternative to "lush, green" when you've already said "lush, green" a jillion times. (Gets almost twice as many Google hits as "idyllic," which is another popular travel writers' word.)

8'FED said...

As for "plunge-worthy", I find it clumsy. Best I can think of is a word along the lines of "beckoning", "enticing", etc. As in "metaphorically beckons you to plunge in".

I think I'd leave "flourishing". True, it doesn't exactly mean what the writer intended, but I doubt I'd be pedantic enough to challenge it.

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