Showing posts with label imprecise language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label imprecise language. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bad Wording from the World of Copy Editing

Came across this* in a story I was editing yesterday:
The American workforce is becoming more diverse. Experts project that next year ethnically diverse individuals and women will make up 70% of all new hires.
Set aside the logical problems with this passage. I reworded it, anyway, so some of the problems you see in it might be mine. But, that said, can you see the wording that I thought needed fixing?

The term that I changed was "ethnically diverse individuals." The writer was talking about the individuals that make up an ethnically diverse group. She did not mean that each individual has diverse ancestry.

(*As always, I did some rewording to disguise the passage.)

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